The Loop

I’ll be honest. When I learned we were doing a sermon series focused on family, I got a pit in my stomach.

My family isn’t the traditional one that is viewed as “standard” in the Christian church. And I know I’m not alone. My husband and I currently don’t have children. It’s something we regularly talk about and pray through to see if that’s a direction in which the Lord is leading us. In the meantime, we’ve been blessed to be an aunt and uncle to four amazing nieces and nephews. There’s beauty in families looking different, but that doesn’t take away the pain, pressure, longing, or perceived judgment when we don’t fit into the box.

What I’m thankful for is Kingsway’s approach to this sermon and the idea of family. Pastor Matt has challenged us to think about how our children, or people in our life - nieces, nephews, coworkers, friends, even your favorite local barista - are experiencing us. How are my actions pointing others toward Jesus, even if the children or people I’m interacting with are not mine?

I think we make it too complicated when trying to “be Jesus.” He went to the outcasts, His friends, to the people who needed Him most. He went to them. So, for me, that means I need to go play trash trucks, make endless animal noises, and retrieve balls to throw once again. I want to smell like dirt, sweat, laughter, and toddler joy.

“Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.”-1 Corinthians 9:19-23

How are you “smelling” like the people in your life? Whether they be 3, 13, 33, or 103, how are you going to them, engaging with them and just loving them at their current place in life?

Now, for those of you who don’t have your own littles to love on (or ones to borrow for a day before you fill them up with sugar and return them), and if this sermon message has been painful, I want you to know that you are seen.

After the pit in my stomach lessened, my prayer and my heart have been for those who can’t relate to this series on family or whose stomach is in their throat the entire sermon, waiting for the punch to land. That gnawing and fear of never having that “family” to call your own or the pressure to have the idealized family picture figured out.

I don’t have the words to alleviate your ache, but I do have this verse that I want to pray over you:

“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”-Romans 8:26

To me, it’s so incredibly comforting to know that we don’t have to say anything and that the Lord hears our cry, knows our deepest wish, and can feel our desperate plea without saying a word.

For those who had a family and lost it, for those who never had children, whether or not it was your choice, for those going at it alone, and for those of you who are raising children in the church– I thank each of you for being a part of this body. Thank you for sharing your mess and showing up to be a part of the family.

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