The Loop

I never really thought much about dedicating my own child. Not that I didn’t want to by any means, but it never occurred to me that it would be something I’d do as a Christian parent. Most of that stems from not knowing when I would step into parenthood, a journey I only began just over a year ago. And not that it’s some big, insurmountable task that cannot be accomplished…right?

Walking into Kingsway on Sunday morning, I knew to meet up with Pastor Joe and he would walk us through our part in the service as parents. Stand here, say this, take your kids to class. Easy enough, right? Eleanor was one of twenty-seven children being dedicated and, honestly, that’s awesome! There are a lot of kids at Kingsway right now, and it was super cool to see all the families gather together to publicly declare that we would be raising our kids in this community, alongside these families.

 As service started, my wife, Shaina, was leading worship. This meant that I got to have one-on-one worship time with Eleanor. As the countdown hit zero and the lights came up, I was suddenly in a totally different mindset than I had been all morning…I was worshiping with my child, just her and me. Whoa, wait…this is her eternal soul I’m fighting for all of a sudden! Am I up to this? Is this something I can even slightly be prepared for?

Eleanor, being the best little kid anyone could ever ask for (I know everyone says that, but ask around…she’s the best), had a great time watching her momma sing, and was waving at her on the side screens when she would appear. As Shaina began to lead the room through Gratitude by Brandon Lake, I truly entered my thin place; Shaina was singing to just Eleanor and I, and it was like the warmest hug I have ever received. My wife’s beautiful, powerful voice, filling the room as I stand, tears filling my eyes, holding our firstborn daughter. Over the span of about 20 minutes I went from totally fine, to WAY unprepared for the task ahead, to completely calmed by the spirit of God.

As Joe invited the families forward, I stood up and walked to our mark. I have stood on that stage countless times, but this was the first time I’d ever stood without an instrument to hide behind. As I stood with my wife and daughter, I was trying to prepare myself for the moment that was coming…a public declaration that my wife and I will do everything in our power to show Eleanor and, God willing, her siblings to come, the power of His love, might, and favor.

Now back to my original thought. I hadn’t considered this moment much before. Shaina and I were both raised in Christian homes so, of course, we were going to dedicate our children. But, in this moment, standing on the stage with my wife and child, it occurred to me what a HUGE undertaking this is. Am I worried I’ll make mistakes? Of course. Do I know there is forgiveness? Of course. Do I also know that I cannot do this without, not only my wife but all of Kingsway? Absolutely. And that thought gives me a great sense of calmness, knowing that I am not in this alone and that I have an amazing community of Christ-centered, goodhearted friends that will help me along the way.

As Pastor Matt said on Sunday, it’s not the building that makes Kingsway what it is, it’s the people; the people that are truly the hands and feet of Jesus. People we know we can trust to help set good examples for our children, and hopefully they see Shaina and I the same way. We are going to do everything in our power as Eleanor’s parents to make sure she is loved and protected, and hopefully one day she will be able to understand that even though we love her the most, He will always love her more.

Share