April 27, 2025
Sharpening Friends
- Matt Nickoson
Sermon Notes
BIG IDEA: God's word can help you find great friends and can help you become a great friend.
Theory of social influence: We tend to gravitate toward the tastes, preferences, values, and attitudes of those we hang around with and listen to the most.
Proverbs 13:20 NIV
Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.
The “fools” are those who reject God’s wisdom and Word.
The “wise” are those who love and contemplate God’s Word as they live it out in everyday life.
Psalms 1:1 NIV
Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,
Psalms 1:2-3 NIV
but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers.
When discerning great friends:
1. Look at the fruit growing on their tree.
“… without even realizing it, we adapt and assimilate what we see in them or hear from them. Those with a strong work ethic inspire us to work both harder and smarter. Those with depth of insight and uncommon wisdom inspire us to study and reflect more. Those with exceptional generosity prompt us to excel in the grace of giving. Those who have happy and healthy relationships cause us to imitate their commitment to investing in life-giving friendships.” - Alan Ahlgrim, Soul Strength : Rhythms for Thriving
2. Trust slowly and intentionally!
Proverbs 17:17 NIV
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
3. Look for people who sharpen you.
Proverbs 27:17 NIV
As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” - Abraham Lincoln
To become a great friend, try:
1. Being a healthy version of yourself.
Black holes – always take in light, but don’t give back.
Moons – always reflect light, but don’t actually contain the light themselves.
Stars – generate the light from within and give it away.
Proverbs 27:9 NIV
Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.
2. Speaking the truth in love.
Proverbs 27:5-6 NLT
An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.
3. Living the truth in love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8a NIV
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.